Monday, August 18, 2014

Could This be Your Neighbour, Co-worker - Maybe You?






What do these people have in common?
  • ·       Your husband or wife has cancer
  • ·      Your wife or husband has MS
  • ·      Your mom or dad has Alzheimers or dementia
  • ·      Your child has a disability or brain injury
  • ·      Your brother or sister has a mental illness 

If any of these describe you, you are a caregiver!  Still not convinced?

In the last week or so, have you done any of the following for/with someone in your family who is ill or disabled?
  • ·      Attended a medical appointment with your family member
  • ·      Made sure someone took their medication at the correct time
  • ·      Washed, dried, folded or put away laundry
  • ·      Cooked or dropped off meals
  • ·      Shovelled a walk
  • ·      Mowed the lawn
  • ·      Had a visit (at home, or in the hospital or nursing home)
  • ·      Took them to church
  • ·      Help them get dressed
  • ·      Gave them a ride to the hairdresser or barber
  • ·      Had to say “no” to something you wanted to do because you were committed to doing something for your loved one who is ill or disabled?  

If you said “yes” to any of these statements, you are a caregiver.  You can’t deny it. 

The Miriam Webster dictionary says a caregiver is:
-a person who provides direct care (as for children, elderly people, or the
chronically ill)   
or
a person who gives help and protection to someone (such as a child, an old
person, or someone who is sick).

You are a caregiver and you are not alone.  You are one of the 13 million caregivers in Canada providing an estimated $25 billion worth of care.  Or perhaps you are one of the 65 million caregivers in the U.S.A. providing an estimated $450 billion worth of care.

When you see the numbers you must be convinced of the prevalence of families relying on each other to fill the gaps in caregiving. It is a multi-billion dollar business. Neither the Canadian or American health care system can afford to do what you do. You do it out of love. You do it out of compassion. The bottom line is, you just do it. And think nothing of it.

You don’t have to do it alone.  In the previous blog I talked about asking for help.  After I wrote that blog, I realized many of you will have read it, and thought it didn’t pertain to you, because you think you are not a caregiver! For you own health and peace of mind, you must not do it alone. Allow others to help you.  You will be no help to anyone should you get sick. And that is what will happen if you try to go it alone.  Who do you ask for help?
  • ·      Family – share the caregiving, if possible.
  • ·      Friends
  • ·      Co-workers
  • ·      Community Service Groups
  • ·      Neighbours
  • ·      Community Agencies
  • ·      Doctors, nurses, etc. 

There are many more people who could be added to the list.  The point is that people want to help you.  The best gift you can give yourself, and the person helping, is accepting their help.  It’s a win-win situation.

Lorna M. Scott is the author of the best selling book Walking the Journey Together ... Alone

2 comments:

  1. thank you for this, lorna. my family travels most of the year, but we are temporarily living near my 84yo father whose health has recently been declining. i have had a particular frustrating week (so this post came at just the right time) attempting to balance between assisting him and allowing him some very necessary independence. the more i do, the less he wants to do on his own (and i am constantly reminding him what he's capable of).

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  2. April, I am glad the post is helpful! You don't have to do it alone - there is help. You deserve a break!

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