The 3 R’s: Getting Back on Track

When you are faced with a rollercoaster ride of emotions it can be challenging to stay focused and balanced, in any area of your life. The demands of caregiving are not always predictable. You can think you’re headed one way, and in reality, you are only a blood clot or low immune system away from a sudden change of course.

When you spend your time preparing for what you do know is coming up, and planning your life around doctor appointments, medical tests and pharmacies, there is little time or energy left for the curve balls of caregiving.

I clearly remember standing in my kitchen, sipping a hot, fresh cup of coffee, looking forward to a restful and relaxing weekend.  The peace and calm of the moment was suddenly interrupted by the words “We need to go to the hospital.”  I turned and looked at Callum’s swollen, purple arm.  There was to be no rest or relaxation that weekend.  We spent over 6 hours in the emergency room and spent the rest of the weekend watching for signs of a pulmonary embolism or stroke.  No fun at all!

Your situation may not be as dire as this one I just described. It is nearly certain that you will have at least one episode that comes out of nowhere and can leave you not knowing what to do, where to go, or what help you need.  Your mind becomes a soupy fog and you know that if only you could think more clearly, you could get back on top of things.  You need the 3 R’s.

The 3 R’s can be done at any time you need them. You may first need to make sure your loved one has the care he/she needs. Take care of anything urgent before taking time out for the 3 R’s.  Most likely some adrenaline will kick in to help you get through the urgent or emergency situation.  It is after that you will really want to use the 3 R’s.  If the situation is not urgent, and you aren’t sure about the next steps, you can use the 3 R’s as a way to more clearly assess the situation and what to do next.

Relax:

 Take at least 3 deep breaths.  Breathe in through your nose to a count of 5, and out through your mouth to a count of 5. This is usually enough to slow down heart rate and rapid breathing. It’s fine if you need another 2 or 3 deep breaths.  By this time you should feel a bit calmer.

Re-energize:

Sit quietly.  If there is time, do something soothing, anything

that gives your body a chance to recover from the adrenaline rush:

-       a bubble bath

-       some light reading

-       sit, close your eyes on concentrate on your breathing

-       light a candle and stare at the flame

-       listen to music

-       take a 10 – 20 min nap

-       walk around the block or walk up and down the stairs in your house/hospital

-       enjoy a cup of tea, coffee or hot chocolate (no alcoholic beverages)

Refocus:

After you’ve had time to relax and re-energize, you are ready to refocus.  Take a good overview of the situation and see what you need to do next. If immediate action wasn’t necessary, review the situation as it is now, and see whether you need to call a doctor, or maybe home care.  If you have taken a trip to the emergency room, you will be better able to understand what the doctors and nurses tell you. 

Have a “tool kit” of things ready for the 3 R’s.  You might want to keep with you, or nearby, a book, mp3 player to listen to music, notepad and pen, healthy snacks and some single portions of your favourite tea/coffee/hot chocolate. You can be prepared for the unexpected event that turns your life around faster than you can blink an eye. 

Lorna M. Scott is the author of the best selling book Walking the Journey Together … Alone, Finding Peace, Hope, and Joy in the Middle of the Sh**.  Click here to order your copy.